« March 2004 | Main | May 2004 »

Kathy Acker

: I don’t want you if I’m going to have to feel this pain. I don’t
want you, or rather I don’t want these feelings of wanting you
more than anything else in the world. If having these feelings
which you blithely call love means most of the days I live through
are spent in wanting that which I can’t be relieved: this is no
fucking way to live and I won’t stand for it.

: I have to erase you out of my life so I can keep in living.
no matter how passionate no matter how perfect no matter
how deep love, it fades and there’s nothing. I won’t stand for it.

: I’ve never felt anything such as this in my life. No. Those were
your words. I’m too tired to speak now, my darling.

: I refuse to give up a love which I believe’s good. I believe it’s
good because it’s not linear, just an obsession; but calm, rich,
and many-angled.

Acker, Kathy. Don Quixote. New York: Grove Press, 1986.



"I am shouting my invisible words. I am getting so weary. I am growing tired. I am waving at you from here. I am crawling and looking for the aperture of complete and final emptiness. I am vibrating in isolation among you. I am screaming but it comes out like pieces of clear ice. I am signaling that the volume of all this is too high. I am waving. I am waving my hands. I am disappearing. I am disappearing but not fast enough." David Wojnarowicz, Memories That Smell Like Gasoline

The Enchanter

Since Tony brought it up in a comment he made to an earlier post, here's one of my favorite book covers.


[ From The Literary Encyclopedia ] The principal Nabokovian antecedent to The Enchanter (and indeed to Lolita) is to be located within his novel The Gift (written 1933-38), when a minor character suggests the following synopsis for a novel (Penguin edition, 172-3):

Imagine this kind of thing: an old dog – but still in his prime, fiery, thirsting for happiness – gets to know a widow, and she has a daughter, still quite a little girl – you know what I mean – when nothing is formed yet, but already she has a way of walking that drives you out of your mind – A slip of a girl, very fair, pale, with blue under the eyes – and of course she doesn't even look at the old goat. What to do? Well, not long thinking, he ups and marries the widow. Okay. They settle down the three of them. Here you can go on indefinitely – the temptation, the eternal torment, the itch, the mad hopes. And the upshot – a miscalculation. Time flies, he gets older, she blossoms out – and not a sausage. Just walks by and scorches you with a look of contempt. Eh? D'you feel here a kind of Dostoevskian tragedy?

Playlist: April Mix

I'm not good at not getting what I want (Sophie Ellis-Bexton)
"But I know that there are some who have it all I want to join them"
Phonecall 45 (Emm Gryner)
"I don't need another friend maybe you do"
Accused (The Delgados)
"Let me take advantage of your whims"
Wonderful (Adam Ant)
"I miss you yes I do"
The Twilight Showdown (Starlight Mints)
"Fighting with his eyes, combusted"
Love and Destroy (Franz Ferdinand)
"I'm here with you at midnight, I forget about living alone"
Elevator Love Letter (Stars)
"I'm so hard for a rich girl"
Here I Dreamt I was an Architect (Decemberists)
"and here in spain i am a spaniard"
Do You Realize (Beck cover)
"It's hard to make the good things last"
Everybodys gotta learn sometime (Beck)
"Change your heart, it will astound you"
Light and Day (The Polyphonic Spree)
"You don't see me flyin to the red"
Mood Indigo (Nina Simone)
"I'm just a poor fool that's bluer than blue can be"
Wonderwall (Ryan Adams)
"I'm sure you've heard it all before"
Wurlitzer Prize (Norah Jones cover)
"I haunt the same places we used to go"
You mustn't Kick It Around (Erin McKeown cover)
"Don't let a good fellow go to waste"
New Resolution (postalserviceremix) (Azure Ray)
"I won't forget i won't forget the way you said Move on"
She Loves You So Hard (Cat Power)
"The wonder the person to have you cannot"
They Don't Know ( Ben Gibbard cover )
"maybe I could leave you but I don't know how"
If There Is A Chance (The Cardigans)
"the music's playin on, but somethings wrong, somethings gone"
November (Azure Ray)
"So these lighter days can soon begin"

Welcome Back, Frank

I saw "The Punisher" last night and it was fun. This movie is getting horrible reviews but I'm here to tell you, this flick is funny. It doesn't mean to be, but it sure is. I liked it, I would watch it again on DVD, even though it is absolutely not perfect, righ there below "Daredevil" in the Marvel Movie Pantheon. I'll give them credit for the fight the Russian, a totally comic book fight done well. Mr. Travolta sort of sleepwalks through this movie, he's almost that same character from "Swordfish" but subdued. Good luck to Marvel studios because this weekend belongs to “Kill Bill Vol. 2”. Try again with Punisher 2 if you can. Thanks to Colleen for inviting to go along, good times.

The less I write, the more you know

+ " Nellie McKay wants to be Cole Porter and Avril Lavigne – all at once. " Austin Chronicle Review

+ EISLEY WINS BIG IN DALLAS - 2004 Dallas Observer Music Awards

+ Metroid Prime 2 = Multiplayer [ Scans ]

+ If you already drink V8 why not try some A9?

+ Fact: If you own episodes of Jem and The Holograms, chicks will throw themselves at you.

+ Movies that remind me about Spring 1994: The Crow and Reality Bites ( Anniversary Edition coming soon )

+ Mary-Kate and Ashley's HIP PICKS

+ Quentin Tarantino's bloody revenge tale "Kill Bill-Vol. 1," starring Uma Thurman, sold more than 2 million DVDs during its first day in release, according to studio executives. [ Source ]

Lars von Trier on Casablanca

And, of course, these days I've got this notion that I can only make films that are set in the US, maybe because I was criticised when Dancer in the Dark came out for making a film about a country I've never been to. I can't really understand that sort of criticism. (But one reason for it might be that I criticised the American justice system in the film.) And I daresay I know more about America from various media than the Americans did about Morocco when they made Casablanca. They never went there either. Humphrey Bogart never set foot in the town. Lars von Trier