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Ben and Ben

Kathy Acker



: I don’t want you if I’m going to have to feel this pain. I don’t
want you, or rather I don’t want these feelings of wanting you
more than anything else in the world. If having these feelings
which you blithely call love means most of the days I live through
are spent in wanting that which I can’t be relieved: this is no
fucking way to live and I won’t stand for it.

: I have to erase you out of my life so I can keep in living.
no matter how passionate no matter how perfect no matter
how deep love, it fades and there’s nothing. I won’t stand for it.

: I’ve never felt anything such as this in my life. No. Those were
your words. I’m too tired to speak now, my darling.

: I refuse to give up a love which I believe’s good. I believe it’s
good because it’s not linear, just an obsession; but calm, rich,
and many-angled.


Acker, Kathy. Don Quixote. New York: Grove Press, 1986.

ON KATHY ACKER'S DON QUIXOTE

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