This has been Hardcore for a decade
the Nabokov Juvenile Depository for Females

1998. Memory is my Enemy

1998floorsmaller
Items that were on the floor of my apartment in May 1998.

"She said, "The art of longing's over and it's never coming back."
Leonard Cohen: Death of a Ladies' Man

I found one thing in you to praise and on this pebble I built my fortress of love.
-
Death of a Lady's Man, Leonard Cohen

I know I am a fool, hoping dirt and glory are both a kind of luminous paint; the humiliations and exaltations that light us up. I see like a bug, everything too large, the pressure of infinity hammering at my head. But how else to live, vertical that I am, pressed down and pressing up simultaneously? I cannot assume you will understand me. It is just as likely that as I invent what I want to say, you will invent what you want to hear. Some story we must have. Stray words on crumpled paper. A weak signal into the outer space of each other.

The probability of separate worlds meeting is very small. The lure of it is immense. We send starships. We fall in love.”
-Gut Symmetries, Jeanette Winterson

Songs that remind me of this precise time period, important to me for my own reasons: Pulp - Like a Friend , Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: I Let Love In ( live, from the "best of" bonus disc ), Tori Amos: Spark , Tori Amos: Siren.

I broke my promise not to suffer, and now
I have to start all over again to earn my solitude

-Death of a Lady's Man, Leonard Cohen

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