I haven't chosen to be alone, but am
we fall in love.

temporary and annotated

I'm in my usual Sunday sleepless trance, and I thought: This is how it happens. Should I write about it? or would it be too "The Man Behind The Curtain". People don't really want to know the how's and the why's but someone said "Can't imagine how much research and work goes into it..must be staggering" (never thought about it that wayand someone else says "it makes me shiver to think how amazing you are". Who doesn't like compliments?

Tonight it starts with the end of a three day haze of intense meditation on a woman I deeply adore.

Now to continue the thread where that leads. What song reminds me of her? "Pour Some Sugar On Me" ? Maybe that's just a song I want to sing to her. I find the thread in a Green Lanter Comic Book (#40) in the words of a Star Sapphire:


U2: The First Time/live
Shows me colours when there's none to see 
Gives me hope when I can't believe 
That for the first time 
I feel love 

But that is all irony. Love is not what emanates from her to me. What quote can soften the blow of my disappointment?


I was going to post a picture of my desk but it is a mess at the moment. A PC faces one way, I have nicknamed it "Battlestar". The Mac faces my left. I initially had named it "Alfred" but recently changed it to "Darhma". My desk area is nicknamed "Central Dogma". Maybe my Iphone needs a Friday Night Lights themed nickname so that I have all my tv show nick names covered. Go Panthers!


What's the next move? A declaration. A well rehearsed sililoquie

Sex to forget? to Heal?

SkinskidsdrinkDrinking with my mates?

I don't know what's next. That leads to the end. If it doesn't make sense, its OK. Remember: I'm sleep deprived at the moment.
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