“I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”
― Leonard Cohen
Don DeLillo, Mao II / Maurizio Di Iorio
Callie Torres, ‘The Heart of the Matter’ / worteinbildern
[ Uh Huh Her: Say So ]
You say that you're broken
I just want to fix you
Tell me what to do, baby I will listen
[ REAMONN: SHE'S SO SEXUAL ]
looking like she wants to
wants to please
Do you think she likes it
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
[ U2: Babyface ]
Slow down child, let me untie your lace.
[ ANI DIFRANCO: Untouchable.live ]
So fuck you
And your untouchable face
Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you
[ GARBAGE: Can't Cry These Tears ]
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
My fight with Anhedonia rages on. I win skirmishes but it wins battles. I keep waiting for a reversal, for my brain to give itself completely to the pleasure principle.
It gets harder and harder to engage my mind in inspiration. The future of my blog is quite uncertain. Trying to make it to 10 years.
My Muse owes me a picture of her in a My Little Pony onesie. This will make me laugh and cheer me up. Anyone who has the ability to cheer me up is utterly important. Be glad she exist since this blog would have died last year if it wasn't for her.
+ Lolita: The Story of a Cover Girl will be published in August by Print
Nationality: without. Eyes: grey.
‘Mr. Nabokov, I want to be a writer.’ Nabokov looks up from his reading and points to a tree outside his office window.
‘What kind of tree is that?’ he asks the student.
‘What is the name of that tree?’ asks Nabokov. ‘The one outside my window.’
‘I don’t know,’ says the student.
‘You’ll never be a writer.’ says Nabokov.
‘What if?’ has no power against ‘What if not?’ The not of you is unbearable. I must have you. Let them prate, those scorn-eyed anti-romantics. Love is not the oil and I am not the machine. Love is you and here I am.
Jeanette Winterson, The Poetics of Sex
I wish i could afford the level that lets me ask for a cover song. At the first Eisley concert I went to Stacy played a few bars of Radiohead's "everthing in its right place" and ever since I've had the idea that they could do a pretty cool version of "Karma Police". I want the Past Demos release b/c I'm really hoping it includes a newer studio version of "Blackened Crown".
+ Infographic: SUPERMAN's 75th Anniversary 1938-2013
On April 18, 1938, DC Comics (then National Allied Productions) debuted a new anthology title Action Comics, with the lead-cover story featuring a new superhero character called Superman.
“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”
+ 'Skins' final series air date announced by Channel 4: Skins is to return to E4 in July
“I knew I had fallen in love with Lolita forever; but I also knew she would not be forever Lolita.”
|—||Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita|
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest yet be judge
Someone was missing from that list....
"The fuel is about claiming, owning, possessing. The fuel is possession, and possession is what possesses you in the first place. The fuel is escaping to a world where nobody knows about the true art of it. Nobody but you."