In a little while I'll be gone
‘What if?’ has no power against ‘What if not?’
‘What if?’ has no power against ‘What if not?’ The not of you is unbearable. I must have you. Let them prate, those scorn-eyed anti-romantics. Love is not the oil and I am not the machine. Love is you and here I am.
Jeanette Winterson, The Poetics of Sex
I've lived my life in vain
the rivers of my memory
"He idolized it all out of proportion..."
My Muse went to Europe and when she returned she couldn't stand America. I told her that's how I feel when I come back to Texas from NYC. I told her that when we vacation in NYC together she will finally get to see the Fun version of me.
others emphasize my loneliness
“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness.”
I'd lay down my sword if you would take it
I was introduced to the album that has the live version of this song by Neil. It's very me. One of those songs I must have written in another life, in another timeline where I didn't quit keyboard/music lessons when I was kid.
what you are
“Panic is the sudden realization that everything around you is alive.”
|—||William S. Burroughs|
By the grace of a friend I've turned myself On (depression is Off) and can do a few posts to amuse myself away from the slow buildup to my upcoming manic episode.