[ Uh Huh Her: Say So ]
You say that you're broken
I just want to fix you
Tell me what to do, baby I will listen
[ REAMONN: SHE'S SO SEXUAL ]
looking like she wants to
wants to please
Do you think she likes it
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
[ U2: Babyface ]
Slow down child, let me untie your lace.
[ ANI DIFRANCO: Untouchable.live ]
So fuck you
And your untouchable face
Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you
[ GARBAGE: Can't Cry These Tears ]
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore
“We all have bullets beneath our skin we pray our lovers won’t flinch at when they find.”
a soundtrack to myself. to feel one way or another about life. a coded soul status. feeling like I'm in the wrong time line, these things keep me alive.
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
You asked me how I was doing. I'm quite certain I am tired of that question. It feels like an insult. I don't know where I'm going or how to get there in a hurry. Feeling exiled from the life I used to have.
You asked me to annotate my playlist...
And when you're out there, without care
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
/// Ray Lamontagne [ Crazy ]
This reminds me of my hermit ways. I'm over going out. Nothing out there interest me. A reminder that sometimes I feel incongruent towards her.
I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight
There's a part of me in the chaos that's quiet
/// U2 [I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight.live]
I'm at the absolute bioling point in regards to every single aspect of my life. Something has to happen, but no one can hear me.
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
///Counting Crows [Crazy For You]
Just thinking of her.
For thinking that my love could hold you
///The Kills [Crazy]
Afraid to loose her.
'cause when your love is love blown down
You must sleep so your head can escape your heart
I had to tell my friend: even though you met the most beautiful girl in all your years in the universe. even though to you she's the most precious thing...You are now crushed. Give up and accept your permanent melancholy.
Kanye West [ Love Lockdown.live ]
For my friend who spends more time getting over a girl than falling in love with her. Who didn't learn to appreciate the graceful way in which a woman breaks a heart in half until a girl shattered it. My friend with an expiration date on his heart. He's a hopeless case....
+ Velvet Underground - That's The Story Of My Life (Closet Mix)
+ Elvis Costello - Taking My Life In Your Hands
+ David Byrne and Brian Eno - Life is Long
Elbow: One Day Like This / Drinking in the morning sun, Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day
In the silence of my lonely room
I think of you
Day and night, night and day
I'm not stopping
I'm still in your blood
(and I) don't want your contemporary anatomy
(because)You are just Like an avalanche
And if you don't love me, would you please pretend?
(because) I look so alone I get obvious
When one is lonely the days are long
Still my heart beats so slow
I have other hopes. I legislate from the fortress of my disappointments, with a set jaw. Overthrow this even terror with a sweet remembrance: when I was with you, when my soul delighted you, when I was what you wanted. My heart sings of your longing for me, and my thoughts climb down to marvel at your mercy.
Mix: Dear Jane
// Never Let Me Go
Maybe I was dumb
But what I forgot to say
If you didn't know
Is never let me go
[Minutes into Hours into Days]
// Hold Heart
No Lips, don't make a sound
Don't let him hear the break in your voice
// Can't Seem To Make You Mine
Can't you see what you're doin' to me
You fill my heart with misery
// I Lost Someone
Someone that's the one
That's the someone
That's the someone that I lost
And you tell me everything is alright,
you don't mind
How can you feel when
you're wounded like that dear?
[Sentiments are not Sestinas]
// The Lovers Are Losing
But anyway you look at things and try
The lovers are losing
// Words That We Couldn't Say
Someday, maybe, we'll make it right
Until that day
Long endless nights
We couldn't say them
So now we just pray them
// Wurlitzer Prize (I Don't Want to Get Over You)
I'm not here to forget you
I'm here to recall the things we used to say and do
// Lion's Mane
the shape we meant to make is gone
// Now You're Gone
It's too late
// Timing is Crucial
And I thought, that timing is crucial in the next step.
//Love Too Soon
Sometimes I make mixes that are only for friends and acquaintances.
This was one of them.
Alas, what the hell, here it is.
Midnight is where the day begins
Lightspeed Champion | Midnight Surprise
Warm nights and the chill
Creeping down my bones
Reminds me I'm alone
Willie Nelson | These Lonely Nights
I just lie awake and weep
The Cure | At Night
I sink in the night
Hawksley Workman | Kissing Girls (You Shouldn't Kiss)
The city sleeps but what time will lovers keep
Tom Waits | Midnight Lullaby
Stare out at the moon upon the windowsill, and dream...
Elvis Costello | Upon a Veil of Midnight Blue
There hung a crescent moon
To light the view
Cyndi Lauper | I Drove All Night
When the night is cold and dark
No one can move me
The way that you do
Close your eyes and just sleep tight
Grant Lee Phillips | Last Night I Dreamed That Somebody Loved Me
Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
I suffer mornings most of all
//Jason Mraz | If it Kills Me
Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you
//Jessie Baylin | Was I On Your Mind
Just take my heart
//Uh Huh Her | Say So (Acoustic)
I just want to fix you
//Bright Eyes | Make a Plan to Love Me
But I just have to ask
Will you make a plan to love me?
//Heart | Alone
You don't know how long I have waited
//Russian Red | Timing is Crucial
//Explosions In The Sky | What Do You Go Home To?
// Foo Fighters | Alone + Easy Target
// Lou Reed | Leave Me Alone
// Cat Power | Naked If I Want To
// The Dresden Dolls | Me & The Minibar
Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh. It is easy to display a wound, the proud scars of combat.
Leonard Cohen, "The Favorite Game"
I Knew a Woman
I knew a woman, lovely in her bones,
When small birds sighed, she would sigh back at them;
Ah, when she moved, she moved more ways than one:
The shapes a bright container can contain!
Of her choice virtues only gods should speak,
Or English poets who grew up on Greek
(I'd have them sing in chorus, cheek to cheek.)
How well her wishes went! She stroked my chin,
She taught me Turn, and Counter-turn, and stand;
She taught me Touch, that undulant white skin:
I nibbled meekly from her proffered hand;
She was the sickle; I, poor I, the rake,
Coming behind her for her pretty sake
(But what prodigious mowing did we make.)
Love likes a gander, and adores a goose:
Her full lips pursed, the errant note to seize;
She played it quick, she played it light and loose;
My eyes, they dazzled at her flowing knees;
Her several parts could keep a pure repose,
Or one hip quiver with a mobile nose
(She moved in circles, and those circles moved.)
Let seed be grass, and grass turn into hay:
I'm martyr to a motion not my own;
What's freedom for? To know eternity.
I swear she cast a shadow white as stone.
But who would count eternity in days?
These old bones live to learn her wanton ways:
(I measure time by how a body sways.)
> Joseph Arthur: Honey and The Moon
> Leonard Cohen: Joan of Arc
> Massive Attack: Live With Me
> Ronettes: Be My Baby
> Prince: I Would Die 4 U
> KD Lang: Crying
> U2: Love is Blindness
> Yoko Kanno & Steve Conte: Words That We Couldn't Say
Her "Map of Your Aching and Longing" playlist.
[ Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds: Hold On To Yourself ]
I'm leaving. Inside your favorite book I have left an Ipod with a mix of songs that remind me of you. All your drama and mystery. Your story-like, or cinematic sense about Love. I based it only on songs, musicians and albums I know you're connected to. Why is it that sometimes you meet someone when it is the right time for you but not the right time for them? And then it becomes the wrong time for both of you. You may then have to find reasons to be disillusioned, piece by piece, in small bites, when you are really being amazed, every time you see them, by leaps and bounds. I also included a few other playlists, these are my maps of you.
> U2 - Original Of The Species
> The Velvet Underground - Femme Fatale
> The Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
> Leonard Cohen - The Future
> John Cale - Dying On The Vine
> Tori Amos - Cloud On My Tongue
> Regina Spektor - Real Love
> Eisley - If You're Wondering
> Fiona Apple - Never Is A Promise
> Teddy Thompson - Tonight Will Be Fine
selections from a march soundtrack
selections from a march soundtrack
/ Hayden: Damn this feeling (live)
people they call me just to make sure I’m o.k
/ The National: Slow Show (live)
I want to start over, I want to be winning
/ The Cardigans: Hold Me @ a Plague of a Angels
leave me alone
but don't ever let me go
/ Alanis: So Pure (live)
You from New York
/ Cat Power: New York (live)
longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it
/ U2: New York (live)
I'm staying on to figure out my mid life crisis
/ Ani: Platforms (live)
I suited up for the long walk Back to myself
+ Radiohead - Killer Cars
+ Bjork - Army Of Me
+ The Rapture - Get Myself Into It
+ The White Stripes - Conquest
+ Timbaland - Bounce
+ Foo Fighters - The Pretender
+ U2 - Discotheque
+ Depeche Mode - Suffer Well
+ Kanye West - Good Life
+ Thom Yorke The Clock
+ Garbage - Push It
+ U2 - MOFO
+ the white stripes - icky thump
+ Coldplay - Speed of Sound
Rhino Skin | Don't Get Down | I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry | I Came So Far For Beauty | If I Needed Someone | Love is a Losing Game | Love is Blindness | Starting Over
Maude Maggart/ I Can't Get Started
I'm a glum one It's explainable
Spottiswoode And His Enemies/ I'm Lost Again
I'm naked and alone
Dave Gahan/ Kindgom
I have that desperate feeling
Lou Reed/ How Do You Think It Feels
How do you think it feels
When you're speeding and lonely
Nick Cave & Johnny Cash/ I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
And as I wonder where you are
Tori Amos/ Digital Ghost
Only to find you all alone
Eisley/ Many Funerals
I'm content to lie peacefully
LCD Soundsystem/ New York, I Love You but You're Bringing Me Down
Like a death in the hall
That you hear through your wall
You've gone off the rails
Aqualung/ Pressure Suit
Drift out into darkness
Lost out on horizon
Maude Maggart/ Why Was I Born?
What is the good of me by myself?
Anjani Thomas/ Innermost Door
When I am alone, you'll come back to me
Teddy Thompson/ My Hear Echoes
You come back here and fill this loneliness
Spoon/ Black Like Me
What's gonna get me out of this?
Spottiswoode And His Enemies/ You Will Rise Again
You failed to foresee your present misery
but you will rise again
"Love generally but do not commit yourself to a particular love. You will become known as sympathetic friend and faithful lover because you never really permit these roles to seize your heart, you can practice and perfect them. But the heart is guarded, kept free and untarnished by any simple human affiliation so that it will reflect in glorious accuracy all the charts of the stars which the clouds one day will part to reveal. The important thing is not to approach anyone too close because tomorrow you may have become pure light."
In fact I can't stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
The little cracks that escalated
I'm in New York now, No need for words now
What makes you think I'm the one
Who will love you forever?
Everything you do has been done
And this won't last forever
Out of longing great wonders have been willed
Tonight with words unspoken
Pedro The Lion
Let down and hanging around
X-O, took my heart and crossed it
Set it down and lost it, set it down and lost it
This is good or bad, all depending on
My general mood
But You Wanna Say
What You wanna Hear
Make it easy
Make this easy
It's not as heavy as it seems
Whether you want empathy, animosity
An enemy or company, call me
For Every Woman You Will Leave and Open Door
The Umbrella by Olena / + Autumn.In.Manhattan + by Olena / The Romance In Her Coffee by Olena / .alarm clock II by ~Braina / .shoes vs. music by ~Braina / Inside... by ~Nhung / A kiss by ~becoming-death
When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better.'It's all right' we whisper, 'I'm here, I love you.' and we lie: 'I'll never leave you.' For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad.
photo by Jenni
The last 30 days of the 30th year
//Regina Spektor: Chelsea Hotel
//Eagle Seagull: I'm Sorry But I'm Beginning To Hate Your Face
//Teddy Thompson: You Finally Said Something Good (When You Said Goodbye)
//Tigercity: Other Girls
//The Swell Season: Sleeping
//Moby: Dream About Me
So brave and so sweet
You don't really care for music, do you?
You will never be my fool
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well but you make this hard on me
Movies only make me sad
parties make me feel as bad
cause I'm not with you
where are you now when I need you
"All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction"
In which a mix is a made from songs I would include with comments to friends on facebook/myspace, if those places were meant for honest comments.
I was floored by you but your taste in men is inexplicable.
"Come back to me awhile, Change your style again, Come back to me awhile, Change your taste in men" | Placebo - Taste In Men - Paris
You are the most beautiful mystery I've never met.
"It's the way - She turns the tide" | U2 - Mysterious Ways - Slane Castle
I want to get on a plane and see you. Yesterday. Come here already.
"I cannot wait to call you And tell you that I landed somewhere" | Jason Mraz - "Plane" - Austin
There are only 3, maybe 5 men in the universe that will ever undertand you and I am one them. I could write the book on you.
"Chapter One we didn't really get along" | Elvis Costello - Every Day I Write the Book
Your advice is harsh and it doesn't inspire hope.
"You won't find a girl in this damn world" | PJ Harvey + Nick Cave - Henry Lee (live)
Indecisive girl, you will manage. You always do.
"Modern girls always get their way" | The Strokes + Regina Spektor - Modern Girls and Old Fashioned Men - NYC
We are overdue for partying. Pull me out of the Fortress of Solitude. You are allowed.
"Now I have Been slightly shy And I can smell a pinch of hope" | Bjork - A Hidden Place (live)
Shopping without you is very unsatisfying.
"I can't get no, oh no no no" | PJ Harvey + Björk - Satisfaction (Live)
Your drunken soliloquies are the best. Especially when they revolve around me.
"While you make pretty speeches, I'm being cut to shreds"| Radiohead - Like Spinning Plates
I remember the effect my voice had on you and that's why you will never hear me again.
"Melt in a memory, Slide in a solitude" | Elbow - Figitive Hotel- Belgium
Where have you been and what have you been doing all these years? Any day you want to talk again, you know how to find me.
"And you want a girlfriend" | Liz Phair - Fuck & Run - Live in 1995
Be. Here. Now.
"I summon you to appear my love" | Spoon - I Summon You - Berkeley
Thanks for introducing me to those girls, even though my mind is still preoccupied.
"I think its that girl" | Tori Amos - Tear in Your Hand - Glastonbury
I'm going on a trip for a while so here's this to hold you over.
Last Year's Man
The rain falls down on last year's man, an hour has gone by and he has not moved his hand. But everything will happen if he only gives the word; the lovers will rise up and the mountains touch the ground. But the skylight is like skin for a drum I'll never mend and all the rain falls down amen on the works of last year's man.
// She's Fantastic - Sondre Lerche
All the girls my own age, have me turning the page
// Damien Rice - Volcano | video
And like a new disease she's still too young to treat
// Lou Reed - Tell It To Your Heart (live)
// Muse - Starlight |video
I just wanted to hold You in my arms
// Radiohead - Big Ideas (Nude) | video
Don't get any big ideas, they're not gonna happen
// David Bowie - White Light, White Heat
Have mercy white light have it goodness knows
// Richard Ashcroft - The Drugs Don't Work | video
But I know I'm on a losing streak
// James - Say Something | video
More than a drug is what I need / Amongst friends, but all alone
// Mew - Comforting Sounds
I don't feel alright / why don't we share our solitude?
// Rufus Wainwright - This Love Affair
I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I am going.
// Rufus Wainwright - Every Time We Say Goodbye | video
I wonder why a little
// Leonard Cohen - Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie
// Damien Rice - Elephant (live) | video
This has got to stop.
// the Cure - End | video
I think I've reached that point where giving up and going on are both the same dead end to me
"I've had a revelation about you", she said. I became worried. There are only a few things she could transparently know about me. She doesn’t know her power over me and it is my job to never let her know. It is time for an extreme exercise in discipline, so that she doesn't pick up the faint smell of a broken heart.
[ Romantic Desires As Inconveniences ]
“That’s the nature of women; not to love when we love them, and to love when we love them not.”
“Thinking up lovers is thinking about lovers you don’t have or miss”
"What you tell me about in the nights. That is not love. That is only passion and lust. When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve."
P.S. - I'll be gone for a while.
photo: anna rosa krau
for the hell of it I made a playlist on FineTune. Sometimes the songs are not complete but hey, its beta.
This is what an embedded playlist looks like. This one is not mine.
The last 30 days of my 20's
// Eurythmics: I've Tried Everything
Being an anthem of underachievement.
// Sondre Lerche - You Sure Look Swell
She does, everytime.
// Teddy Thomas: Tonight Will Be Fine (live)
Cover song obsession of the month.
// U2: Night and Day (live)
Captivated & Charmed.
// Morrissey: My Life Is An Endless Succession Of People Saying Goodbye
Another friend left town and I know who's next.
// Kaiser Chiefs: Oh My God
It was time to be far from home.
// Toadies: Possum Kingdom (live)
In which I go to my last dance related anything ever
(unless a waifish starlet makes me go to another one, in which case I will because I do have my weaknesses)
// U2: Fast Cars
It was time for a new car.
// Ani Difranco - Hypnotized (Live)
In which I hope Ani has written the last song that reminds me of an antiquated affair.
a predilection for troubled girls who like to read
being a semi biographical mix In which only songs from 2005 are used
When we started both broken hearted
It could begin and end in one evening
It seems, it seems there's nothing
That you couldn't do
With a drink inside of you
Your eyes are beating
Faster than the speeding bullet
That took the life of your radio
To a crackle in a radio song, sing along, sing along, sing along.
[ Fiona Apple - Tymps (The Sick In The Head Song) ]
Cuz it isnt the rush of remembering
Its just mush
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you
If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
[ Mew - Apocalypso ]
Waltz with me, courageously
We're dancing, dancing
you i will never forget
i hope you'll remember me later
All my wrongs don't make you right
You say you like me in your memory
You've got to be fucking kidding me
The first playlist I threw into my shuffle was the January Mix I made for my female benefactors.
Make Up - Elefant
"I see you smile and turn your head You lift your arms and grab the bed"
I Like You - Morrissey
"You're not right in the head, and nor am I, This is why I like you"
Have Mercy - Loretta Lynn
"Please have a little heart"
I'm in love with a girl - Big Star
"All that a man should do is true I didn't know this could happen to me"
Don't get me wrong - The Pretenders
"I might be great tomorrow But hopeless yesterday"
I'm sticking with you - Velvet Underground
"But with you by my side I can do anything"
Someone else - Superheroes
"I know she wants someone else I can tell it by the way she holds me"
Murder me rachael - The Nationals
"I saw my love with pretty boy"
I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
"You could have told me yourself, That you love someone else "
I had you - Novisplit
"Tell yourself more lies that make you feel ok"
This Is Not My Life - Fastball
"This is not my face, This is not my place, no it's just isn't right"
Make Me Mad - Dulcie Younger
"howl at the moon and send you crying"
Already Over Me - The Rolling Stones
"I'm your man Not your fool"
Lay me down - The Frames
"I will write you letters that explain the way I'm thinking now"
Now that I miss her - elefant
"When I said goodbye, I knew that I lost her"
We Will Still Need a Song - Hawksley Workman
"And maybe anger is your only choice"
So sad about us - The Who
"suppose we'll never make up"
Come With Me Tonight - Bob Schneider
"smooth as 151"
Don't be crushed - Hawksley Workman
"Don't be broken, even if you're broken"
So What - Ani DiFranco
"who were you then that you thought somehow you could just pretend"
Your Face - The Frames
"I know something about you, something about the things you do"
I'm not good at not getting what I want (Sophie Ellis-Bexton)
"But I know that there are some who have it all I want to join them"
Phonecall 45 (Emm Gryner)
"I don't need another friend maybe you do"
Accused (The Delgados)
"Let me take advantage of your whims"
Wonderful (Adam Ant)
"I miss you yes I do"
The Twilight Showdown (Starlight Mints)
"Fighting with his eyes, combusted"
Love and Destroy (Franz Ferdinand)
"I'm here with you at midnight, I forget about living alone"
Elevator Love Letter (Stars)
"I'm so hard for a rich girl"
Here I Dreamt I was an Architect (Decemberists)
"and here in spain i am a spaniard"
Do You Realize (Beck cover)
"It's hard to make the good things last"
Everybodys gotta learn sometime (Beck)
"Change your heart, it will astound you"
Light and Day (The Polyphonic Spree)
"You don't see me flyin to the red"
Mood Indigo (Nina Simone)
"I'm just a poor fool that's bluer than blue can be"
Wonderwall (Ryan Adams)
"I'm sure you've heard it all before"
Wurlitzer Prize (Norah Jones cover)
"I haunt the same places we used to go"
You mustn't Kick It Around (Erin McKeown cover)
"Don't let a good fellow go to waste"
New Resolution (postalserviceremix) (Azure Ray)
"I won't forget i won't forget the way you said Move on"
She Loves You So Hard (Cat Power)
"The wonder the person to have you cannot"
They Don't Know ( Ben Gibbard cover )
"maybe I could leave you but I don't know how"
If There Is A Chance (The Cardigans)
"the music's playin on, but somethings wrong, somethings gone"
November (Azure Ray)
"So these lighter days can soon begin"