Achtung Baby!

There are souls that are incurable

There are souls that are incurable and lost to the rest of society. Deprive them of one means of folly, they will invent ten thousand others. They will create subtler, wilder methods, methods that are absolutely desperate. Nature herself is fundamentally antisocial, it is only by a usurpation of powers that the organized body of society opposes the natural inclination of humanity.

If I commit suicide, it will not be to destroy myself but to put myself back together again. Suicide will be for me only one means of violently reconquering myself, of brutally invading my being, of anticipating the unpredictable approaches of God. By suicide, I reintroduce my design in nature, I shall for the first time give things the shape of my will.

- Antonin Artaud, General Security: The Liquidation of Opium

my old friend

wish to conquer pain

No more of this living dying

Ra Ra Riot: [ Dying Is Fine.live ]

 Fabrizia*Milia 

I'd lay down my sword if you would take it

I was introduced to the album that has the live version of this song by Neil. It's very me. One of those songs I must have written in another life, in another timeline where I didn't quit keyboard/music lessons when I was kid.

You're living for nothing now

+ Tori Amos: Famous Blue Raincoat (Live) - Another one for my funeral playlist. I still recall the first time I heard it on a bootleg (Titled Under The Covers) that was copied one cassette at a time via the Tori mailing list's hey days in 1994. I recall it b/c the tape had Tori singing "American Pie" the night Kurt Cobain died. It also had the first time she did a bunch of other covers like "Boys in the Trees" and "Wrapped Around Your Finger"

Thank God for modernity, who needs to find old cassettes when there's YouTube.

This may be my least favorite cover of it, that fucking saxophone is maddening: Jennifer Warnes - Famous Blue Raincoat

My funeral...Your Trial

Let's say I want certain songs played at my funeral..I don't even know who to leave in charge of this! in the meantime I need to start my play-list b/c I want it followed. Time to update the will I wrote when I was 16.